The Where and When

So I am adopting. And now I have a place to live that is qualified for adoption. I know God wants me to adopt.

Now I have to figure out where and when.

The choices are overwhelming. Domestic, foster-to-adopt, International and then which country? I must have looked at the sites of over 20 agencies, made over 50 phone calls and prayed a lot. What is funny is that though God was clear that adoption was something that I was to do, He was not clear as to what avenue I was supposed to go. I was truly open to anything. I just wanted Him to show me what He had in mind. This was another trust walk for me. Not knowing which direction to go, but knowing I was to keep stepping forward. It is awkward – especially as I started to tell people that adoption was something I was feeling led to do, the first natural question is when and where? But not having an answer to that question was awkward and stressful for me.

So as I stepped forward, practicality started to creep in. I figured domestic adoption didn’t feel right as I have always envisioned that international adoption would be the direction I would go. Plus with 132 million orphans in the world – I wanted one of them, and not wait for an unborn child stateside. I considered the foster to adopt program, but never got any response when I was tracking down leads. So as I surfed through the many agencies for international adoption, I was overwhelmed at first. So many choices, but as I continued to look, the choices weren’t as plentiful for single women. Many countries are closed to single applicants, other countries will not adopt out young children or babies to single women. Other countries will only adopt special needs kids to single women. As I began to realize the reality of the situation, I became a bit discouraged. I didn’t think I could handle a child who was already over 7 years old. And I didn’t think I could handle a special needs child as a first time mom on my own. I became serious about the program for the country of Bulgaria. They adopted kids out to single women as young as 4 years old. Among the youngest I had seen. However, the wait time to get a referral (The adoption referral refers to when prospective adoptive parents get a call regarding a child that the country or agency has selected for them based on the family's criteria.) was about 4 years! Again, very discouraging. To me, and many, with 132 million orphans in the world, why would there be so many restrictions and why such long wait times?

The more research I did, the more I realized what would be ideal for me.
- A baby – so I could grow with the child as a first time mom.
- A short wait time for a referral - because the other little detail about adoption is that the home study (an investigation of prospective adoptive parents to make sure they are fit to raise a child, required by all states) requires that nothing in your life can really change without lots of work to update your information – for me that meant not moving, changing my job, and even marital status.
- A program that didn’t cost an arm and a leg ☺
- And a country where I knew others who had adopted from there so that I can connect my child to others that have a similar story or background and heritage.

However, this was discouragingly difficult. So I kept praying and one day, as I was reading one friend’s blog – a couple from my district where I do ministry who were in the process of adopting a girl from Ethiopia – I decided to find out what agency they used to see what countries in which they worked. I didn’t think Ethiopia was an option as all the agencies I had looked at, African countries except South Africa were closed to single women. But I thought I would at least check them out to see what other options they might have.

The agency was Dove Adoptions International and they worked in Ethiopia, Russia and China. After a quick read, I saw the China program was on hold and I knew that they were closed to singles anyway and I started to check out the Russia program, but it wasn't anything new from what I had been seeing. Then I hovered the mouse over the Ethiopia link and decided to click it out of curiosity.

I was surprised to see that they accepted single women applicants! And as I read further I say they were $10,000 cheaper than any other program I had looked at. AND they referred kids the youngest I had ever seen – as young as 3 months old! AND the wait time was only 4-8 months!!!! The shortest by FAR! I got really excited! I prayed about it some and then contacted then for an application. When I got the information packet in the mail I looked over the information and my excitement grew. As I filled out the application I kept praying.

The day I sent it off, I prayed that God would still lead me in the direction that He saw. So if that meant for the application packet to get lost in the mail – so be it. This is His plan not mine. I just want to figure out the when and where.

It was an exciting first step – here is a picture the day I mailed it off on Tuesday, December 14.




Two days after I sent in the application, I was looking at one of the books I got on adoption – “The Adoption Decision” and I was just reading through the whole book. And I got to the chapter on special needs kids and I almost just skipped it as I had applied for a healthy child as I didn’t think I would be able to handle a special needs kid being a single mom. But I proceeded to skim through it and my eyes got stuck on this part, “This child needs a home, and I (God) have chosen you to parent her. I’ll equip you for the task. Are you willing?”

Even though they were the words in this book – I felt like God was saying them right to me. I lost it. I poured out my heart to God about my desire to be led to that exact child. Whoever and wherever. I have no idea where this will end up but my heart for children that are more unwanted by the rest of the world – I want to want them.

Then the thought struck me – I was born with severely crossed eyes. Were my parents disappointed the first time they saw me? I have never asked them ore even wondered that. I think mostly because I know I am a person before I am someone with crossed eyes. I have emotions, desires and dreams. Thank God for parents who loved me beyond my physical deformity. It has given me a whole new perspective on kids with special needs. Everyone is valuable to God – just because they are. They are His creation. His value is not our value and embracing His values increases our knowledge of Him. I still don’t know how this will turn out, but my prayer is that God will bring this little one to me and I will trust Him that no matter who she is – He will equip me for the task.

So am I willing? Yes. A thousand times YES!

Shortly after the new year, Dove contacted me and said that my application was approved, my references checked out and the last step before being accepted into the program was an interview. Since they are in Oregon and I am in Alaska, we knew it would have to be phone interview. They asked if I was available anytime around January 11.

I checked my calendar to confirm what I thought to be an amazing “coincidence.” I happened to be in Oregon for a board meeting that day. I asked them where they were located and they replied off highway 26 between Cannon beach and Portland.

Amazing. Not only would I be in Oregon for a board meeting, but it was a time when our board was actually meeting in Cannon Beach and I was heading back to Portland to fly home on – you guessed it – January 11. Not only was I able to interview on that day, but I was able to interview in person.

Here I am about ready to go in for the interview



When I got there for my interview, there was a miscommunication and I actually ended up meeting with the director of the agency. The interview went well and she told me that they would be so excited to join me in my journey toward adoption and welcomed me to the Dove adoption family! She happened to be a notary, so we signed all the papers and I walked away with my Dossier in hand!

Signing papers


Dossier Packet


The when is not known, but the who and where, for now, is a little baby girl from Ethiopia! Can’t wait to meet her!!

Stay tuned – lots more updates to come.